Being who you are

I have something for you. It’s a free ebook all about the process and experience of decolonizing your inner world – how to do it, and what you can expect when you go down this path. Writing this is how I’ve been keeping myself out of trouble lately. It’s meant as both battle cry and [...]

I believe this is the longest I’ve ever put off writing a blog post I knew I had to write. Though I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. It’s actually what I was afraid of when I opened this very can of worms with this post about why it’s not okay to ask some [...]

I say this with love, because I know some people’s hearts are in the right place. But it must be said: You can’t ask people of color, who obviously grew up here (wherever here might be), where they’re from. It is not okay. I hear the question, but what comes through loud and clear is [...]

Let us commence with a battle cry. RAWRRRRR! 1. You are entitled to be who you are. Your complicatedness, that you thought was the source of all your suffering in life and that you would never transcend? That complicatedness is a gift. You have the struggle and the privilege of making your life for yourself—drawing [...]

Let me tell you a story, my friends, of boundaries, breached and defended. And what happened after. I was at a conference, where a Nigerian grad student took a shine to me. And let me know in no subtle way. Day 1: Him: Hello. Where are you from? How long are you here? Are you [...]

You don’t HAVE to leave the tribe behind to live your life. I’m wondering if this is the message I conveyed in that one post about the tribe and the closet: that you have to kick the tribe out of your life and your head, and good riddance. This is not what I mean at [...]

These days I am girding my loins and preparing for my First Ever Teleclass, on the general goodness of being a happy hybrid. And I’m deeply curious about what will make it useful and delicious for people. I have an overflow of opinions, of course, and will gladly share. But I will also love it [...]

A client asked what I mean by “desi.” (It’s pronounced with a soft D, something like “they-see,” with the emphasis on the first syllable. And FYI, I’m dropping the quotes from here on out. It’s a regular old word! No more jazz hands!) The root of the word is des, meaning country, or nation. Desi [...]

I’m thinking of a woman I know who has a rare, captivating birthmark on her face. From the moment I met her, I thought it was so freaking cool that I wished I could have one just like it (except, you know, my version). She’s an artist, and she’s a standout and a leader, and [...]